AKULAH SANG PENGHIBUR

people make meaningful songs, songs that give life to others who hear it. i wish to relive my life. but why should i be shy? bukankah ku pernah melihat bintang senyum, menghisai sang malam.

aur isi kehte hai zindegi. zindegi migzara...DIL!

setiap perkataan yang menjatuhkan

tak lagi ku dengar dengan sungguh

juga tutur kata yang mencela tak lagi kucerna di dalam jiwa

aku bukan seorang yang mengerti tentang

kelihaian membaca hatiku hanya pemimpi kecil yang berangan tuk merubah nasibnya

oh bukankah ku pernah melihat bintang senyum

menghiasi sang malam

yang berkilau bagai permata

menghibur yg lelah jiwanya...

yg sedih hatinya...

ku gerak kan langkah kaki dimana cinta akan bertumbuh

ku layangkan jauh mata memandang

tuk melanjutkan mimpi yang terputus

masih kucoba..

mengejar rinduku meski peluh membasahi tanah letih,

penat tak menghalangiku tuk temukan bahagia

oh bukankah ku pernah melihat bintang

senyum menghiasi sang malam

yang berkilau bagai permata

menghibur yg lelah jiwanya

yg sedih hatinya

oh bukankah hidup ada perhentian

tak harus kencang terus berlari

kuhela kan nafas panjang

tuk siap berlari kembali

bagai bintang yang bersinar menghibur yang lelah jiwanya,

bagai bintang yang berpijar menghibur yang sedih hatinya

-PADI (SANG PENGHIBUR)

khudakhafiz

main hoon bechara

sometimes, u have certain dreams or desires tt u know u can never make to come true. probably due to your self principles, physical restrictions, mobility factors or cultural stereotypes, religious obligations etc. so when people say "reach for your dreams," i'd choose to laugh it off.

that is something i've learned from my life. i am an average girl with big dreams. mostly too big for girls, like me that i have to live with denying my dreams myself. told u im a superb actress!
if ever people ask me wat are my dreams and wat i'd like to be in life? im sorry folks, do not expect me to answer tt with an honest answer. as honest as i may appear to sound, it'd still be a big lie. im a hell of an actress. try me...

but just off e record, i'd like to give myself a chance to express myself here. doesnt matter its not gona make any difference coz no one reads this anyway. why would anyone bother. so hear this, i dream of becoming a celebrity star. from an actress i'd like to move on to singing. im serious. its all i have ever wanted in my life, as in seriously.

so why dont i try to pursue it? why have i never given a chance for myself to reach out for my dreams? hahaha!
to put it simply, because im a muslim.
i have no regrets with being a muslim. im proud to be one. but my parents use that as an excuse. which i dont approve of. i do not think being a muslim limits me of my rights to fulfill my dreams. in fact it is the opposite. probably i should blame it on my parents' orthodox mindset.

khudakhafiz.

I feel like my parents think im a burden to them. they just want to get rid of the boon their carrying. One mistake from me and they make it all blown up and blame it on me. she noes wat im getting myself into isnt going to work out for me and yet she just wants to shoo me off so that i wont burden her anymore. she pretends tt it is e best thing for me and shows me her support but its all fake. the truth is, if i get myself into this mess, she wont be responsible for me anymore. she can pay for didi this and that. but for me, everything is just pushed over. I wish u realize ma!

I feel like screaming out all tt is inside me. nobody noes wat im going thru. its just a facade i put on everywhere i go to everyone i face. i think i ve mastered this art of acting that im beginning to even fool myself. i feel so screwed inside but i have no one to turn to....

Allah, sesungguh nya kepada mu aku berserah. jangan lah kau uji hamba mu yang lemah ini dgn dugaan yang tidak termampu aku tempuhi. tunjukkan lah kasih sayang mu padaku ya Allah, di saat aku merasakan kehilangan dan kehausan kasih sayang daripd mereka yang dekat dgnku. kerana akhirnya, aku hanya membutukan kasih sayangmu untuk meneruskan kehidupan ini.